Comment Wall

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Comments

  1. Yo Wesley! I just read your first story revision over "Goblin CIty". I thought the story was very fun and easy to read, which I think is the best route one can take for these types of short tales. I think it is cool that you took inspiration from Goblin Slayer, I myself have watched that anime and even dabbled a bit into the manga after the season concluded. I am wondering if you also took inspiration from Naruto, being that the main characters name is Kurama (which is the nine tailed demon fox's real name). I also saw more potential Naruto inspiration with the quest ranking system, which is just like the ninja mission ranking system in the Naruto verse. Since I am a fan of the medium you were taking inspiration from, I probably got more out of this tale than many people will. I think that fact is ultimately fine though, being that appealing to niches will make the content you produce even better for that specific targeted audience. I really enjoyed this rendition of Goblin City you wrote, and I hope to see more from you in the future!

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  2. Hi Wesley! This was the first time I got to read your story about Goblin City. The first story in my portfolio is also based on the Goblin City story we read previously in the course and our versions were a lot different from each other! I stuck to the original storyline with only a few changes and added background but your story was so creative and refreshing to read! I really enjoyed the fact that the men ended up at the same island as the travelers that crashed at that island because they were completely prepared and ready to take on some goblins. It's super cool that you took two different storylines and meshed them together to make your own. Overall, your story was very well written and I'm not sure I would change anything. Great work, I can't wait to read more of your stories!

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  3. Hi Wesley! This is the second story related to the Goblin City and your version was very different from the other. I really liked that your own twist was from the perspective of adventurers going against goblins rather than the goblins themselves. I think the original story had very little in terms of the sailors' perspectives. The only problem I had with the story was that the dictator part seemed a bit random. I think the story would have felt more cohesive if the city was taken over by goblins instead. That way, Shinra can prove his point to Kurama on how goblins are truly evil and Kurama can have an epic adventure of reconquering the city. Great work though and good luck!

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  4. I was reading your story about Goblin City and it immediately reminded me of Goblin Slayer. I really enjoyed the plotline you created. I enjoyed how you kept the ending the same as I really enjoyed the original ending. Your creative style, originality and detail-oriented writing style really showed. You can maybe find other relatable stories in the Mahabharata stories, that can tie along with this story. This will help you build on the plot and give you the opportunity to introduce new characters. The connection you build between characters is an important role in any story. I would also use more form of dialogue. Overall this was a great story and excited to read. Honestly, I feel like this is a great start to a book or maybe even a whole new movie. I admire your originality and your imagination in this story. I will look forward to more stories from you.

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  5. Hi Wes! I really enjoyed your modern take on the trust issues that Rama and Sita endured throughout the Ramayana. There are only a few things that I would suggest. First, I think that you should clarify what DM's are in your story in case any person in the older crowd is reading. Also, I don't think you need a comma after 'Tyrone' in your sentence "One day on a normal hangout with his friends, Tyrone, and his buddies talk about there relationships," and 'there' before 'there relationships' should be switched to 'their.' Other than those minor things I really enjoyed your story. You built up suspense very well toward the end of your story as it leaves the reader with their own imagination, wondering what they would do to protect someone who is as important to them as Sasha is to Stephanie. Your portfolio is coming along very nicely and I am excited to read more to come!

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  6. Hey Wesley,

    I just looked at your portfolio and I would just like to say that I was blown away. I like the fact that you have your own logo. It really shows the amount of effort that you put into your project. I read your story "The Streets" and I found it really funny. I like the fact that you decided to transform Rama and Sita's relationship into something modern. It really allows the reader to have more perspective on just how messed up the relationship is. I liked the inclusion of the DMs because it something that most every do every day. A lot of meaning can be derived from a text message. Your author's notes were detailed and allowed me to understand the overall feeling you were going for. I had a great time reading your story this week. I look forward to reading more of your project pieces in the future. Keep up the good work!

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  7. Hey Wes,

    I like the way your portfolio is set up. I enjoyed how you added like your own logo and slang on your portfolio. The 'WW' is very interesting and it shows me how much time and effort you put into your blog and project. Both of your stories are very well written and I enjoyed reading them both. My favorite story of yours was "The Streets" and I found it really awesome and very joyful to read. The fact he wanted to see if she was loyal so he had his friend DM her to see if she was loyal is so funny!! That stood out the most to me but your story was super awesome. The only suggestion I have for you is that maybe you should add more dialogue between the characters. Overall, I enjoyed your portfolio and your stories a lot. Keep it up and grind through the rest of this semester!

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  8. Hi Wes!
    I love the set up of your portfolio. It is very modern and trendy, and it matches the vibe of your stories. I also chose to write my first story with a modern twist by imagining what the characters, plot, and scenes would look like if they were played out in the current day where we live. I think that approach is really fun and makes the stories seem a little more personal (and strangely more distant at the same time). There are a few times when reading that I noticed an area where grammatical revision is advisable... just little things, like " So he ran with then story of her trying to kill him" instead of "so he ran with THE story of her trying to kill him"... just little things that a read-over can fix! Your story is great and very creative. Keep up the good work!
    Sincerely,
    Rachel

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  9. Hey Wes,
    I enjoyed your portfolio because it reminded me a lot of what mine looks like. It was easy to navigate and straight to the point. I remember reading your story about "The Streets" earlier on in this semester and you have made some good progress on this story from what I can tell. You definitely have a modern and unique twist to your stories that no one else has. The Streets is one of my favorite stories from this semester and your story about the Goblin Story is really good as well. The title of your portfolio is also really creative, I could see that as real blog name that could take off in a different situation. If you ever start a blog you should probably stick with that name because it is really catchy. I am looking forward to reading the rest of your stories and seeing the progress that you make this semester.
    Thanks,
    Philip Crowley

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  10. Hey wes! First, I like your project name! catchy and creative! Your layout fit well with each of your stories and was easy to navigate. I really have no suggestions to your story! I personally enjoyed your story, " The Streets". I really enjoyed this one and found it so entertaining! Tyrone is certainly quite a character and not the best boyfriend in all honesty! I personally hope the sister kicks his butt and he gets what is coming for him haha. Regardless, I am sure whatever you will write will be great! I like that you modernize the story and even some of the dialogue. I also enjoyed that you left the reader on a cliffhanger to encourage them to come back to get the tea on all the drama going on. Keep up the great work and I will be sure to come back to see what happens!

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